Can you believe we are on day 20?
I was walking along the South Bank with Mum today watching people getting on with their lives; office girls excitedly gossiping, runners pounding along the Thames Path and huge swathes of school children snaking along ready to break free from the herd as soon as one of the harassed teachers looked the other way.
As we strolled along my phone rang and I had another frustrating conversation with the Police, which follows the equally frustrating calls to the bank and Jake's mobile phone company, conversations with the pensions manager, emails to the union and internet research on specialist brain injury solicitors. It suddenly struck me that to all the office girls, runners, school children and harassed teachers I am just another person talking on their mobile, getting on with their day. They have no idea of my reality, just as I have no idea of theirs.
And that's when I realised that I am not drowning anymore, I am coping, quite well.
So, this is my new reality; I have a husband who is very poorly, but making remarkable progress when you consider the extent of his injury, the 8 hours of brain surgery and the lack of bone left in his skull (he has a delightful sticker on his head which reads 'no bone flap' in case anyone forgets!); I have an awful lot of 'stuff' to co-ordinate, but then I love to organise things; I still have a good job that I am hoping to ease back into over the next few weeks and I have discovered that people are the best of themselves at a time of crisis and Jake and I have some quite extraordinary friends, family and colleagues.
As ever, thank you for all your continued support, wishes, prayers and crossed fingers; please don't stop now!