A little bit of hope goes a long way...

One of the most gut wrenching things about this rollercoaster is that for each new triumph there is fresh terror and the trick is to bury the terror so you don't overwhelm the triumph for everyone else. Over the last 4-5 days the terror I have been trying to hide was that Jake would never really regain consciousness and that the journey ahead would be done to him, rather than travelled with him. My Jake would hate that. But he is a fighter and yesterday hope went up when my amazing Jake not only responded and showed signs of consciousness, he spoke to me. 'Are you alright' I clumsily asked; 'yes' he whispered through the speech box placed on his trache. 'I love you' I blurted in shock, 'I love you too' he quietly replied. Those who know me can imagine how spectactulary badly I managed my response and I am sure I scared the proverbial out of staff, visitors and other ITU patients. He's been moved out of ITU now to a high dependency unit on a neuro ward and so there are now new people for me to irritate! This new step has shifted all of our worlds and given us fresh hope for the future, but we are far from home free and now must wait to see the extent of the physical, cognitive and behavioural damage Jake has sustained. The journey ahead will surely continue to be a long, terrifying rollercoaster, but at least today we are starting on an upward curve.