Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Tired but hopeful

Wide awake again in the middle of the night so I thought I'd take the opportunity to update you on how things are going in brain injury land.

Works on the new Korving Towers are progressing well (it's looking fabulous!) and we are moving in next Monday.  New tenants have been found for the current Korving Towers and everything seems to be slotting into place, including the all important transportation of the Imp of Doom.

Moving house is stressful at the best of times and this is most certainly not the best of times.  To counter this I am doing everything possible to minimise the impact including having a full packing service from the removals company, which sounds great in practice, but there is something really unsettling about a bunch of hairy arsed blokes packing up all your belongings; I'll probably pack my own knickers!

Jake has moments of calm clarity when he sees that this move is a very good thing for all concerned.  Sadly these are the exception and he is mainly frightened by the prospect of change.

Due to the nature of his injuries Jake struggles with change both emotionally and cognitively.  It has taken 6 months of a carefully managed and structured errorless learning approach to get him to the stage where he is almost self sufficient in his morning routine, needing only minimal prompting and assistance to get up, showered and dressed.  When we move to the new Korving Towers, despite trying to mitigate the impact by reflecting as much as possible the decor and layout of our current home, Jake will lose some of that learning because the visual and procedural cues will have changed.  He will also have to relearn where different rooms are and be confident about where he should go when and what for.  Sounds simple? Think again, it's taken months for him to get to that stage where we are now. It's not surprising that he's on edge.

This means a rocky road ahead as it comes at the same time as a sudden increase in insight and therefore understanding of the magnitude and impact of what has happened to him.  The worst aspect of this is his belief that I'd be better off without him and his attempts to push me away.  He is REALLY good at pushing my buttons and this usually ends in an upsetting exchange quickly followed by a rush of regret and panic from Jake.  This is very distressing for him and he needs loads of TLC, patience and understanding right now, so if you're his friend and in the area do pop in and see him, it would definitely give him a boost.

The good news is that he's achieved so much at the current KT and so we know that with the right support and a bit of time he will do the same at the new KT. The extra space will make a massive difference to us both as will the week in Gran Canaria with good friends and family at the end of September, so its short term pain for what will hopefully be long term gain and better times ahead.

Next week also sees the full review meeting to assess how Jake's NHS funded intensive rehab programme is going and where we go from here, so there will be lots to update in my next blog.  Hopefully I'll have slept before then!

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