Monday, 4 March 2013

A plea to the professionals

I don't want this post to be misunderstood, so I'd like to start by stating my intent; I genuinely believe that anyone who chooses to work in a field where there are such extraordinary personal and emotional stakes does so because they are fundamentally good people who want to do the right thing.  The majority of our journey has been characterised by the provision of exceptional care, empathy, thoughtfulness and professionalism by these people...some of it has not. 

The sad thing is that it is the little things that are overlooked, not considered or ignored that often have the most devastating impact and, I suspect, often without the offender being aware of this impact.  That is what this post is about and it is intended as a positive call to action.  So please read it in that context.

Cutting to the chase, YOUR PROCESS IS RUINING MY LIFE!

Jake and I are just two people, we're not particularly exceptional for anything apart from what happened at 7:25am on the 26th October 2011.  We don't have access to limitless resources or medical knowledge; we're just doing what we can in a truly shitty situation.

Thankfully we are optimists and so are both attempting to make the best of it.  This is difficult to sustain though when each corner we turn seems to lead us to a big, ugly and unresponsive process.

When your world has shifted so fundamentally that you are having to re imagine every plan, expectation and dream, the thoughtless proclamations of 'that's the process', 'it's not our policy', 'we have to wait for A to talk to B, who needs to check with C who is on holiday for the next 2 weeks', 'that's not in the guidance' or (a personal favourite), 'that's not my job' are breathtakingly stupid and unhelpful.

Before you go all indignant and defensive on me, I know that these are the facts of your job and probably true in that context, but do you really have to say it that way? Could you choose to look around the process and see the broken person behind it? Could you take the time to really listen and then explain why the process is there, how it will benefit me and what you are going to do to make my experience of the process a bit less painful?

Take a moment to consider where the process came from, who did 'they' have in mind when they designed it?  I'm guessing it was originally meant to help people like us, not defeat us.  If not, why not?

So, a simple plea; next time you're about to take out your process and brandish in the face of someone who is potentially crumbling under the pressure and terror of their situation, please think about why you do what you do, the way you are about to communicate and the impact you're about to have.

Thank you from me and my Jake for reading; we'll keep trying if you will.

1 comment:

  1. I keep looking at this comment box...what to say.
    In all our dealings with 'professionals' be they the Dr's, nurses, administrators, council etc etc we have found that some people have empathy (angels in disguise) others stick by the book and others are not even aware you are there. But these attitudes are everywhere in life (one would assume in a hospital/caring situation it was not so)All I can say is keep your strength up, enjoy the lovely people and shrug off the others for they are not your kind of person - loving, supportive and caring.
    I have been caring for our 25yr old son with severe trauma for two+ years and there is hardship and incredible joy....spring is just around the corner.