Let me explain. Tonight I was thinking about how downright bizarre life can be. Jake has lost many things, some forever and some we hope just for now. He's lost memories, time, his radiography career, language, many cognitive abilities and the chance to buy me an enormous present last Christmas (really hoping this one is temporary). But, and it's a big but (I like big buts and I cannot lie), he has also gained in some unexpected ways; he has gained time as well as lost it as he will have time in the future to really decide what he wants from his new, different world. He has also gained from some of the other losses; he has lost the need to worry whether his shorts match his t-shirt, he no longer gets embarrassed in front of new people, he says what he feels without worrying how he'll be perceived and when he smiles or laughs it is completely pure, genuine and without agenda.
I suppose it has something to do with the natural balance of things that in wishing and hoping he will recover some of the good stuff, we are inevitably inviting back some of the other. It did make me think about being grateful though, whatever the situation.
So, here it is; today, the 6th July, I Mrs K am grateful for:
· Jake, clearly
· Our idiot cat (just don't tell him or he'll want more food)
· Our beautiful home in Poole and its soothing garden
· My in-laws who contradict all the stereotypes and are lovely
· My Sister in Law and the friendship we have found - you rock, Hats
· Our friends who have steadfastly supported us (especially A&F and M&D)
· My family who have wrapped me in their love and soaked me in cider, gin, rum, wine etc…
· My renewed friendship with my sister and all the walking, shopping, gyming and gossiping we do
· The NHS; the Yanks are mad, it's amazing and we'd have been in deep doo doo without it
· Social media for keeping me connected despite living in a brain injury bubble for 8 months
· My employers and colleagues for being understanding, supportive and flexible
· CSI; there's so much of you on I never have to listen to my thoughts if I don't want to
· Radio 2; see above
· My neighbours who are lovely and didn't even get to know us before they were called upon in a crisis
· Team Korving, all of them (solicitors, case managers, police, Drs, nurses, therapists, care assistants, surgeons, porters, ward clerks, etc...)
· Sebastian, Jake's regular taxi driver who never treats Jake as though he’s different and is patient, good natured and supportive without exception
· My local Chinese takeaway
· The Higgs field, because without it nothing would matter (geddit?)
There are loads more, but I can hear an old colleague (you know who you are) making pretend vomit noises all the way from Weybridge, so I'll stop. Oh, apart from to say I am grateful that you're reading this...
…hello, is there anybody there?