It's funny how other people respond to your crisis when it's a whopper; they are very careful around you, they watch what they say and they play down the stuff they have happening in their own lives because, as they often say to me "it's nothing compared to what's going on for you and Jake".
Well I have a theory about this. Don't worry, there's no actual physics, I'm incapable. My theory is that shit happens (I know, I'm a genius). Wait, don't go, there's more! Shit happens to all of us and it is completely relative to the experiences we have had up to that point.
So just to recap; shit is relative.
Let me explain. Before Jake's accident my life experiences were pretty tame; crisis was missing a deadline at work, a house purchase falling through, or having a disagreement with someone I cared about. So my shit spectrum was quite limited. This didn't invalidate the feelings of anger, frustration, fear or heartache I felt; in the sphere of my experience they were extreme. Jake's accident increased my shit spectrum; this doesn't change how I felt about those old experiences, it just means my perspective on them has shifted. It certainly doesn't mean I don't recognise or care about your crises.
We all have the resources to deal with what we have in front of us right now and if it feels like a crisis to us then that's OK, so long as we dig into those resources, don't let it overwhelm us and learn from it, hopefully increasing our shit spectrum as we go.
So next time you are about to play down the things that feel huge to you in the context of your shit spectrum; don't. Shit is relative and yours is just as valid and important as mine, it's just different.
And if your shit spectrum is limited then be grateful because it means that life has been kind to you so far.
I'm expecting the funding for my PHD any day now!