I always
find sorting through the gifts a bit tricky; the rarely spoken reality in most
households is that not every gift makes it. Ours fall into three groups;
1. Ooh,
that's lovely / useful!
2. It's
nice, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it...I'll stick it in that
cupboard for now.
3. Oh...err...better
start a charity shop bag.
I'm sorry
if this seems ungrateful, but despite having moved into a much bigger house
this year, we still seem to have way too much stuff. So if it falls into group
3 it has to go so we don't end up on that programme 'Hoarders'. I know, you're
shocked...you thought I was such a nice person.
I have
wondered in the past if it wouldn't be entirely practical to have a Christmas
gift swap shop party in January, but this seems fraught with danger in case you
forget who bought what and include a gift given to you by a sensitive guest!
The real
trick of course is to not unconsciously communicate this sorting process whilst
actually receiving the gift. One of the outcomes of frontal lobe damage is a
lack of empathy and self-awareness and I am forever grateful that the impact of
this is minimal for Jake; he is still really good at pretending to like group 3
gifts!
At this
stage I should point out that the vast majority of our gifts are 'group 1'
gifts and we are extremely grateful for the thoughtfulness and generosity of
our friends and family. Thinking about this did make me reflect on the 'gifts'
of brain injury though, and I was surprised at how many group 1 gifts there
are. At first glance it can feel like they are all group 3, so I thought I
would share some of the group 1 gifts that I am grateful for.
- I am so much closer to both my own and Jake's family and I genuinely believe that this closeness would not have developed without BI.
- As prophesised in all the books, many friends have become less present, but we have made some wonderful new friends who understand and are completely comfortable with our lives now.
- I have been forced to get off life’s travelator and rethink ‘the plan’. This has allowed me to look at my life objectively and has opened up new opportunities and possibilities.
- We both
have a heightened sense of perspective and appreciation for what we still have.
